On paper, I had it all.
A stable career in software engineering. Mid to high six figure salary a year. A million dollar home in Seattle. Great friends. All the markers of “making it.”
And for a while, that felt like enough. I had built what everyone tells you to build—security.
But outside of the high salary? Life was just passing by.
The Golden Cage
My commute was an hour each way by bus. I could drive, but that would take even longer. The people I worked with were great—genuinely good people. But I couldn’t wait for lunchtime. Couldn’t wait for the end of the day.
On weekends, there’d be some house work, maybe a trip to the mountains with friends. Rinse and repeat.
I did this for eight years.
And then, in that perceived tranquility, the harder questions started to arise.
Questions I couldn’t ignore:
- Will I have lived my life to the fullest if I did this for another 40 years or so?
- What options do I actually have…besides continuing to work at my job?
- How do I demonstrate the many ways to live life for my kids when I only have one choice?
That’s when I realized something uncomfortable: I didn’t really have control.
I had a good job. Everything else in my life derived from that. My house, my security, my identity, my sense of stability—it all traced back to one paycheck, one company, one role.
If that changed, everything else would go up in flames.
I couldn’t see myself doing the same thing for another 45 years. Sitting in meetings, climbing ladders, pushing releases, repeating the cycle.
The realization hit hardest when my wife became pregnant.
The Moment Everything Changed
I was a tech lead, so when I started working out paternity plans, I knew things needed to keep humming along even with my absence. People were supportive. Getting permission wasn’t hard.
But that was the problem—I had to get permission to fully focus on my family.
Though it was easy and everyone was supportive, the projects I was responsible for still need to be running in the back of my mind. I certainly wasn’t going to jeopardize the team’s efforts and project.
That’s when the math became impossible to ignore: If I stayed on this path, I’d spend 8 hours per day at work, 2 hours commuting, 1 hour on chores, 1 hour on admin or me-time, and 8 hours sleeping.
That left 3-4 hours per day with my family.
At best, one-sixth of my life spent with the people who mattered most.
In my vision of family? That sucked.
What Can You Actually Pass Down?
Having a child forces you to think beyond yourself. Suddenly, it’s not about optimizing for today—it’s about building something that will still matter decades from now.
I started asking myself: What can I pass down to my kids that will actually set them up for success?
The answer, as I saw it, came down to three things: skills, assets, and network.
Skills can be learned. Assets can be acquired. My kids can go out and get those themselves.
But the network—and the optionality that comes from that network? That’s something I have to build for them. It’s irreplaceable.
And here’s the thing: even if my kids followed my exact same steps later in life, they couldn’t replicate the international networks I’m building for them now. The people they meet at 5, 7, 10 years old—those relationships are completely different from the ones they’d form at 25 or 30. This window matters.
If my kids only inherit one kind of network—a group of people who all look like me, think like me, work in tech, and live in one corner of the world—then I’ve done them a disservice.
Today, my kids have friends from all over the world. Our family has friends across the globe. We hear about changes happening everywhere—not from the news, but directly from our entrepreneurial friends abroad. We learn of new opportunities before they hit the headlines. And my kids can go wherever they need to, with friends already there.
That realization changed everything.
The Decision to Leave
Leaving wasn’t easy. I had comfort. I had momentum. And I had a clear path laid out in front of me.
But I also had clarity: if I stayed on that path, I’d be showing my kids that this was the only version of success that mattered—long hours, one paycheck, one location, one life.
That wasn’t the lesson I wanted to pass down.
So I left.
My parents and friends thought I was crazy to throw it all away. They only looked at the money, the stability, the house, the perceived success. No one considered the time. No one considered my vision of family.
But my perspective? I wasn’t throwing anything away.
I was taking back 40 years of my life.
This was the moment I started building a borderless life—a life designed around freedom, time, and connection, not geography or job titles.
Starting the Journey
When people imagine this kind of shift, they think it means uprooting your whole family overnight. It doesn’t.
My wife and I focused on the how to make things happen—not if, and not finding excuses not to do it.
I had already started building my business remotely. We had a plan. And we jumped in.
We went to Turkey first as an international family trip. I learned about the culture—and about myself. The contrast between what I expected and what actually turned out was staggering, and it opened my eyes to just how much was possible.
We kept exploring. And we’re still exploring.
What Life Looks Like Now
Today, we float between 2-3 places per year. These are our second and third hubs—places we rent when it makes sense, buy when it makes sense. My kids go to the best local schools wherever we are.
They’re all still young—under 7—and they’re already starting with three languages.
And me? I live my life and enjoy every minute of it. My business runs remotely, as you can see.
The highest leverage thing I can do in my business takes between 20 minutes to an hour of work—work that I truly enjoy, because it comes from my life. My work is living my life to the fullest.
This is what raising kids globally looks like: curiosity, adaptability, and connection across borders.
The Question No One Asks
People get hung up on the income question. “Did you take a pay cut?”
But that’s too simplistic. The real question is this:
Would you rather work 8 hours a day and make half a million dollars…or work about an hour a day from anywhere you want, doing something you love and still make $200K?
When I reframed it like that, the answer became obvious to me.
The Hard Parts No One Talks About
Living the nomad life isn’t all glory. When you get to a new place and start to settle, there’s a bunch of different things to handle: new language, new culture, schools, immigration, setup, tax laws, new environment, new logistics, finding a car or a house.
It’s messy. It’s humbling.
But it’s through overcoming these challenges that the family grows closer together. My kids understand how problem-solving as a family is done—not in theory, but in practice.
And perhaps most importantly, I’ve shown them that there’s more than one way to live a good life.
What I’d Say to You
If you’re reading this and you’re making $500K+ but feel trapped—if life is passing by while you wait for some future version of freedom—then let me ask you something:
When are you going to start reclaiming your life, bit by bit?
I’m not saying quit tomorrow. I’m not saying burn it all down.
But I am saying: take the first baby step. The one that’s critical to reclaiming your life.
Maybe it’s a trip with your family to somewhere unexpected. Maybe it’s starting that side project you’ve been putting off. Maybe it’s just having an honest conversation with your spouse about what you actually want your next decade to look like.
Start small. Start curious. Just start.
I’ve written more about the practical steps—how to think about residency options, diversifying income streams, and building optionality without uprooting everything overnight. You can find those resources at totalfreedom.io/learn.
Because $500K in a life you don’t control isn’t success. It’s a negotiation you didn’t realize you made.
What Security Actually Means
When I think about the future now, I don’t feel anxious about what’s next. Because no matter what happens in one country, one market, or one system, we’ll have choices.
My kids are growing up with perspective. With resilience. With options.
And that—more than any paycheck, any title, any house in Seattle—is what I wanted to pass down.
Maybe security was never about guarantees. Maybe it’s about creating a life where your family can thrive—no matter where in the world you are.
So let me leave you with this:
What’s one thing you can do today to move toward your vision of your family?
Not next month. Not when the timing is perfect. Today.