We spend our children’s entire lives protecting them from change — then send them into a world that demands constant adaptation. What if the stability we’re giving them is actually a kind of fragility?

Over the last four years, our family has lived in three countries and packed up our lives four times. Every move came with new languages, new systems, new friends — and yes, new chaos. But I’ve watched something incredible happen in my children: they’ve become more confident, curious, and adaptable than most adults I know.

That’s when it hit me — most families work diligently to give their children stable childhoods in one place. We talk endlessly about the benefits of stability and almost never about its costs. But what are the trade-offs we’re not discussing?

Here are four things I’ve seen children lose when they never move — insights from our experience as a globally mobile, worldschooling family raising adaptable kids.

1. They learn to fit in, but not how to belong.

When you’ve only ever belonged to one place, you don’t learn the difference between authentic connection and simply playing the role your community expects. Deep roots can create a false sense that acceptance requires conforming to what everyone already thinks about you.

My kids, on the other hand, have learned they can be themselves anywhere. They’re comfortable being “different.” They know how to walk into a new playground — or a new culture — and find connection. 

2. They only learn one language — and one way to think.

Let’s be honest: second-language classes in school aren’t going to cut it. Language is more than words — it’s worldview. It’s how you see time, family, respect, even humor. Living in another country forces you to listen differently, to think in new rhythms.

That rewires a child’s brain for empathy, creativity, and possibility. It’s one of the most powerful gifts of global parenting.

3. They never learn that they can leave.

This might be the most important one. Many adults stay in toxic jobs, relationships, or belief systems because they’ve internalized the idea that “staying is safe” and “leaving is failure.” They’ve never experienced that you can survive — even thrive — on the other side of change.

When you’ve never had to start over, you don’t know how to. Breaking out of situations that no longer fit becomes almost impossible if you’ve never done it before. Immobility becomes identity: “I’m someone who stays.” That can be beautiful — but it can also trap people in lives they’ve outgrown.

Moving teaches you that change doesn’t kill you; it builds you. That’s the heart of freedom parenting: helping kids trust their own resilience.

4. Their roots become anchors — and then they become chains.

Deep community roots give children something real: multi-generational bonds, lifelong friends, the comfort of being known. I’m not denying that value.

But there’s a shadow side we rarely discuss. Those same roots can make it terrifying to pursue dreams that don’t fit your community’s expectations. “This is who you are,” said with love, can become a cage when you’re trying to grow.

When kids only see one version of life — one country, one culture, one set of values — they unconsciously absorb that story as truth. But when they experience other ways of living, they start choosing their values consciously instead of inheriting them by default.

Did my kids cry when we left friends behind? Of course. (Honestly, I was the one crying.) Were there nights of homesickness, confusion, frustration? Many. But they learned that hard feelings don’t mean wrong choices. They learned they could be sad and brave at the same time.

The easy thing would’ve been to stay put — to protect them from discomfort. But comfort isn’t the same as growth. And in a world that’s changing faster than ever, I’d rather raise children who know how to move with life than ones who fear it.

I’m not arguing that moving is inherently superior to staying. Deep roots have real value. But we talk endlessly about the benefits of stability and rarely about its costs. Both sides deserve examination.

If I could offer one piece of advice to any parent, it would be this: don’t protect your kids from change. Teach them how to move with it. The question isn’t whether your children should move as much as mine have. The question is — are we teaching them that they can?